SUDDENLY.

My first marriage ended when my husband of 8 years left our home. I was suddenly a single mom to a then 6-year-old little boy, and so began some of the scariest, loneliest days of my life.

TRYING TO PROVIDE FOR MY SON.

I made some very risky decisions trying to provide for my son. I had no family in town and few close friends to be helping hands or shoulders to cry on. I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my entire life - out loud, through huge tears and screams. I begged God to make it all better. I never gave up because that was never an option! I pushed and I planned. I fell hard over and over again, but I kept getting back up.

Honestly, I went numb during those years. I moved completely by fear. I did "what I had to do" to keep the lights on and put food in my son's belly.  I wanted to keep my son in an environment that was positive, clean, and safe; a place he was safe to call home. I fell so far into darkness and into a lack of self-worth that I even sold myself. I felt like that was the only option I had left to support us and survive.

ONCE UPON A TIME.

Before I became single, I had a great job in management with full medical benefits. I was previously a business owner three times over. I went to college. Once upon a time, life was pretty okay. Then one day, I found myself hundreds of miles away from my support system with no husband, a house I couldn't afford, an incredibly sweet little boy, a crazy dog that ran around and ate everything, bills that just kept piling up, and sanity that was slipping away. 

Wow, did life change in the blink of an eye!

SEARCHING.

I was no longer a spring chicken so trying to switch lines of work in South Florida wasn't so easy for this Midwestern girl. I was searching for a Monday through Friday, 9-5 job that paid a decent salary. I wanted to be home in the evenings and weekends for my son to have a good, quality family life. That was so important to me. I couldn't fathom spending half of my income for a babysitter to raise my son. 

My goodness - what a SMACK in the face! One horrible job after another...after another... after another. Companies going out of business, writing me bad checks, under-payment, you name it... I lived it. BUT...I kept going! 

FINALLY.

I finally found some resources through exhaustive online searches. It was a humiliating and humbling experience, but also very strengthening. I was angry that I was forced to figure it out and survive in the wild all by myself. The resources were great, but not readily available to a woman like me. I made too much money to get help from most programs, but certainly not enough to survive on my own income in Palm Beach County. 

Then one day, after what felt like an eternity...God answered my prayers! 

NOW.

Now, I have turned my misery into ministry. It's MY TURN to take action for those who can't help themselves. I don't ever want another person to feel the fear and worthlessness that I felt. I never want them to feel that selling themselves is the only way to "make it". I lived that life so that I could help others come out of their darkness. This is what God had planned for me. My pain has given way to His purpose.